Help me
by Willyhanson
Summary: House needs Wilsons help after getting into a situation while sleeping. No dirt, no squirt in this story. Just a fun way for Wilson to forgive House.


"WILSON!!" even the sound of House's voice managed to wreck havoc in the hospital, as the loudness of it caused an orderly to crash a patient with broken bones into a wall and a chemist to drop hundred and five pills on the floor, witch again caused, not one, but two elderly patients and their walkers to come crashing down to the hospital floor.

"WILSON!!" he managed one more time, before the man in question strolled casually into the other man's office.

"You called, my master!" he quipped, earning nothing but an evil stare from the man sitting behind his desk.

"Wilson, I need your help!" House growled, clearly angry about having to ask, and, didn't Wilson detect a certain embarrassment behind the other man's eyes.

"_You_, _ask_ for _my _help! Do you have a paper nearby, I need to check for snow, so the cute little flying piggies want have any trouble landing when they reach hell!"

He waved at Kutner leaving the neighboring conference room, throwing his backpack over one shoulder and skipping happily down the hall.

"HarrdiharrHA, extremely funny, Wilson. Did you read that on the back on one of the cancer kids juice boxes"

Wilson just shook his head quietly, "so in what way can I be of assistance Mein Herr?"

"Do you know how inappropriate that sounds coming from a Jew, Jimmy boy?"

"Ah, someone is avoiding the question methinks."

Now the embarrassment in House's eyes was most unquestioningly there: "I'm, you see, I sort of fell asleep and…" he stopped abruptly, just gaping at Wilson for a second or two before shutting it completely.

"And now your speechless, I have to go warn Cuddy she has to evacuate before the sky falls down and crush her precious hospital."

He made to leave, turning slightly to the door, when House spoke again; "Don't leave, you see, I'm sort of stuck."

"You got yourself stuck in your chair?", Wilson looked bemused at House and snorted a laugh.

House glared at Wilson and continued: "I didn't got myself stuck, I fell asleep and someone tied me to it, so I need you to get me loose, like right now!"

"Ah, _someone_ tied you to your chair while you slept, how devious of them."

He walked closer to the desk, and observed House give a quick look at the vial of vicodin pills lying on it. He lifted it up, and taking two out, he shoved them into his best friend's mouth. Then he walked behind the chair and tugged carefully at the ropes holding Houses hands tied and House drew a relived breath, which stopped abruptly when he felt cloth covering his mouth, effectively gagging him and stopping his outraged cry.

Wilson bent forward and whispered in Houses ear: "You see _someone_ tied you to his chair, because _someone, _even though he said forgave you months ago, concerning a certain lost sandwich, he never completely did._ Someone_ tied you up, because he felt that in order to be able to completely forgive you, he needed revenge."

He walked around the desk looking straight at House: "You see, nothing I thought about made me believe it would really bother you, so I devised this devious plan. I traded your Vicodin for sleeping pills, and then tied you up. Then I told your "crew" to go home early, making them believe it was your order. I told Cuddy I was leaving early tonight and that you and I were gonna watch a movie. So, when I close the blinds no one is entering this office until 10 o clock tomorrow morning. I really hope you went to the bathroom before you napped, or this is going to be really awful."

He made his eyes wide in mock horror, before he walked over to the TV, popping a DVD in the player, "Not to worry though, I got you entertainment", House got a glint

of gratefulness in his eyes before the DVD happily displayed a Teletubbies menu, then his face fall so far, it looked as it was going to collapse under the vast array of thoughts and emotions flooding his face. "And don't worry House, I've put it on repeat, so you won't get bored."

Wilson then left the room, closing the blinds behind him, before calling a merry "good night, Greg!" to the anguished doctor.


End file.
